


the spaces where I fit

by eversall



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4234689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eversall/pseuds/eversall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So there’s no actual tutoring going on, but Alex and Hank just study in the library and bring each other coffee. Erik still thinks Alex is flunking all his classes and somehow miraculously managing to graduate because of Hank.<br/>“All I’m saying,” Hank whispers one day as Alex draws a lion on Hank’s arm instead of reviewing physics, “is I’m feeling really guilty that Charles and Erik are basing their whole relationship off of a lie about their children.”<br/>“I’m not Erik’s child.” Alex scowls, tilting Hank’s arm a little. “If he had provided half of my genetic material I’d probably kill myself.”<br/>“Dramatic.” Hank tells him. “I find it hard to believe this isn’t the half he provided.”<br/>.<br/>Or, Hank and Alex find themselves and each other through fake-tutoring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the spaces where I fit

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine. Forgive me if the characterization is off; I adore XMFC and Hank/Alex, but it's been a while since I saw the movie and I have always been afraid to write about Marvel characters with such fleshed out backgrounds from the comic-verse.

“Hank.”

“Charles.”

“Alex Summers isn’t doing too well in calculus.”

Hank peers up at his legal guardian. Legal is accurate. Guardian is questionable. But, whatever.

“That’s, um, a right shame.” Hank offers, then, “Oh god, that’s a British thing, isn’t it? I just said what you said. Oh god.”

“I don’t know.” Charles says after a second, face thoughtful. “I know I say that sometimes, but is it a British thing?”

“I mean, I’ve read it in books.” Hank says, now curious.

“British books?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Alex Summers!” Charles says, back on track already. Hank scowls. The British redirect didn’t work. “Tutor him.” Charles continues in a genial tone, as if he just asked Hank to order a pizza or something. Which he didn’t. But he should. Food sounds good right now. Tutoring Alex Summers does not.

“No.” Hank says. “But can I order a pizza?”

“Two mediums. Extra cheese on one.” Charles allows, then. “Oh! No. Three mediums. Erik Lensherr is coming over for dinner.”

“What, your new flavor of the week?” Raven asks, slinking down the stairs.

“What are you _wearing_?” Hank asks, completely mortified for her. “It’s nearly fifty degrees outside.” She stares at him.

“More like, what _aren’t_ you wearing?” she glares. He looks down at his sweatpants and t-shirt. Then looks up at her tight blue dress, sleeveless and ending at about upper thigh.

“Clothes that will get me hypothermia?” he asks. He’s so warm in the house it should be criminal. Hank naps more these days. He would feel lame about it, but Charles and Raven compare him to a cat often enough that he thinks his naps are justified.

“Your _outfit_. For Darwin’s party? I picked it out for you! We spent an entire day shopping!” She’s very angry with him but she also gets angry with him when he wears his plaid-patterned canvas shoes with a plaid button-down so he’s not sure where on the scale this falls.

“Is that today?” He asks instead of delving into the whole scale. Hank is mildly alarmed that he doesn’t remember Darwin’s party. Darwin _makes_ him go to them. He bribes Hank with puppy faces and chocolate-lemon pinwheel cookies that are the absolute best. He frowns.

“I’m _sure_ it was tomorrow.” He says, but Raven stomps her foot impatiently and grabs his arm, dragging him up the stairs. “Manhandling.” He protests as she digs her sharp nails into the tender flesh of his arm. “Ow.”

“It got moved to today, you never fucking pay attention.” She hisses. He thinks about the outfit she picked out for him for this, clothes that are all a few sizes too small (his opinion, not Raven’s) and whimpers.

“Alex Summers!” Charles calls up helpfully after them, not helping Hank at all.

..

Raven manages to dress Hank and style his hair in a record fifteen minutes. He’s wearing jeans that are way too tight and a button-down shirt that’s very thin and clings to the planes of his body.

“I’m going to freeze to death before we even get there.” He tells her, running a hand through his artfully tousled hair.

“Your feet won’t!” Raven says brightly, holding up a pair of black boots. They’re actually quite nice and make him look cool and stuff but they also weigh nearly ten pounds. Hank doesn’t _walk_ in them so much as he _clomps_.

“The heater better be blasting in the car.” He tells her sullenly as he pulls the boots on. They go down the stairs – Raven in neat little steps with her heels and Hank loudly announcing his presence with his feet – and stop short to see Erik Lensherr at the kitchen counter, leaning against it and smirking at Charles.

“What.” Hank says, a touch hysterically.

“Raven, Hank!” Charles says, annoyingly cheerful. “I did inform you both that Erik was coming over for dinner!” The two of them have wine glasses in their hand.

“I didn’t think you were serious.” Raven says, eyeing the wine. “You wanna get it on with the scariest man in town? Is that your kink?” Erik turns a chilling glare her way that would probably make Hank shrivel up in the corner and cry like a baby but Raven’s never had any self-preservation instincts to begin with anyway, so.

“The…adrenaline rush does _influence_ my desires, yes.” Charles says in a low, sensual voice as he rakes his eyes over Erik. He _still_ manages to sound posh and British while attempting sexy, that idiot.

“We’re leaving. We may not even come back. Ever.” Hank announces instead, absolutely _refusing_ to look at Charles or Erik one second longer. “Raven, come on, I don’t care if everyone at this party is waiting to see me drunk so I do a striptease. Anything is infinitely preferable to this.”

“Don’t become homeless.” Charles says, sounding distracted from behind them. Hank is clomping towards the front door when-

“ _This_ is the young man tutoring Alex? He doesn’t seem very bookish, Charles. Not at all like what you described him.” Hank whirls around, annoyed.

“First of all, I am bookish, but I have friends and I go to parties and I don’t usually get drunk but when I do I can perform a mean striptease.” He snaps at the other man. Erik raises an amused eyebrow and Hank is going to die tonight, if not by Erik’s hand then by sheer embarrassment. “Second, tutoring Alex? What?” This time, he glares at Charles, whose genuine smile doesn’t waver. He doesn’t look even the least bit guilty.

“Oh yes. Thank you for that, by the way. I worry about him, you know.” Erik says, his face dropping for a second before resuming a murderous look. Hank supposed he’s trying to look worried, but all his expressions classify under a spectrum of murderous. “It’s very hard on him that Scott – you know, his older brother – is off at college now. He was a very grounding presence.” Damn it. Now Hank just feels _bad_ about this whole situation.  

Erik continues talking. “That’s how Charles and I met, you know. He came up to me at the coffee shop and mentioned that you were thinking about tutoring Alex. I was very pleased.” Here Erik looks at Charles and that is definitely besotted looks coming from both parties. Hank sighs because even worse than Erik Lensherr’s angry face is his hopeful, human face. He pouts at Charles one more time for good measure and is rewarded with a proud look on his legal guardian’s face, the look that screams “I’m so proud of this young man I didn’t really raise but love very much.”

 “Yes. Tutoring Alex.” He mumbles as Raven drags him out the door, laughing at his misfortune. “Whoopee.”

..

“I’m going to TUTOR you!” Hank announces to Alex Summers, ex-convict and general bad boy of their high school. He slams his cup of cheap alcohol down on the table and beams down at Alex.

“In what, stripteases?” Alex snorts. They’re both drunk, or this conversation wouldn’t be so civil.

“You’re not gonna throw me against the wall?” Hank asks wistfully, looking at Alex’s arms. They’re nice arms.

“I did that twice, bozo.” The shorter boy glares, and its true. Its not like they’re friends, but Alex doesn’t bully Hank or anything. Mostly he says mean things, but he says mean things about everyone. “What, do you have a thing for it?” he snorts, peering down into his empty cup.

“ _No_.” Hank says hastily. He stares at Alex’s strong arms and chest and his stupidly attractive blonde hair and his pointy face and baby-blue eyes that, try as he might, don’t ever look threatening. He sighs. He just has a thing for Alex Summers in general.   

“But ‘m still gonna tutor you. Erik _made_ me.”

“In _stripteases!_ ” Alex shrieks indignantly, making Hank jump. The flashing strobe lights highlight the faint, glittery eyeliner Alex has on. Hank thinks its all very interesting, which is just a short jump away from ‘I wanna fuck him he’s so pretty’.

“No.” Hank says. “Why are stripteases always involved?”

“I can do a better striptease than you!” Alex shrieks even more, completely ignoring Hank. Hank huffs and pushes the other boy down into a nearby chair.

“Nobody can do it like I can.” Hank explains very matter-of-factly, running his hand through his hair and biting his lips a little.

“Is this a striptease or a lapdance?” Alex manages to say in a low, strangled voice as Hank shimmies to the music a little and slowly unbuttons his shirt. Hank considers this.

“A little bit of both.” He slurs, the pounding bass and heady alcohol in his veins creating a pleasant buzz. “I don’t strip below the belt. Gotta buy a guy dinner first.”

“I’ll buy you a fucking buffet.” Alex marvels as Hank exposes the pale skin below the dip of his collarbone.

..

“I’m still going to tutor you so show up at the library afterschool or risk my wrath.” Hank hisses at Alex the next Monday. Alex glares at him and raises a hand to punch him but Hank was expecting that so he ducks.

“No.” Hank hisses some more. “I’m weak. You can’t show affection that way.” Alex splutters indignantly.

“You’re not _weak_ , I’ve seen you on the track team and in the weight room. And it’s not affection!” Hank squints at him. “And you’re not tutoring me.” Alex adds as an afterthought.

“You watch me when I work out?” Hank asks, a slow grin creeping onto his face. Alex slaps a hand over his forehead.

“ _No_.” he’s the one hissing now, glaring at Hank.

“Whatever, Erik hasn’t left Charles all weekend and alternates between glaring at me about your academics and smiling hopefully. I’m not disobeying that man.”

“ _That’s_ where Erik’s been? I tried to call him all fucking weekend! I thought he was dead in a fucking ditch!”

..

Alex _does_ show up afterschool, but by that time Hank has already hacked into the school gradebook – initially just to see where Alex stood in calculus, so he knows where to start from – and knows that Alex is passing calculus with flying colors. He’s top in the class.

“What math class are you in, anyway?” Alex asks, slamming two cups of coffee down on the table. “I asked Darwin how you take your coffee. I hope you don’t mind.” Hank takes a sip and chokes on it when he sees the complicated order scribbled on the side.

“Darwin thinks he’s a real prankster.” Hank grumbles. Alex’s face flashes a look of disappointment before its replaced by anger.

“What, you don’t – “

“For future reference, I’m not a picky coffee drinker. I don’t need,” he squints at the messy writing, “almond milk and one shot of hazelnut and one of caramel and – and whatever the rest of this is, oh my god. I’m so sorry.” He adds, looking up at Alex, who looks slightly mollified at the apology. “I’ll pay you back.”

“Nah, its fine. Wanna get him decaf tomorrow in retaliation?” Alex asks, looking pleased with himself.

“Yes.” Hank grins at him. It’s nice. Hank’s pathetic crush on Alex isn’t being helped by this situation but oh well. “I have independent study, by the way.”

“You finished calculus already?”

“Two years ago.”

“Huh. Smart, bozo.”

“You are too.” Hank says, slightly annoyed. “You don’t need any tutoring in calculus.” Alex scowls, the friendly look gone instantly.

“How would _you_ know?”

“Hacked into the school gradebook.”

“God fucking damnit, McCoy.” Alex thumps his hand on the table, and then gets a scowl and an impressive glare from the librarian. Then he looks sheepish and mouths sorry at the old woman.

“How is anyone in this school scared of you,” Hank says fondly, “really.”

..

So there’s no actual tutoring going on, but Alex and Hank just study in the library and bring each other coffee. Erik _still_ thinks Alex is flunking all his classes and somehow miraculously managing to graduate because of Hank.

“All I’m saying,” Hank whispers one day as Alex draws a lion on Hank’s arm instead of reviewing physics, “is I’m feeling really guilty that Charles and Erik are basing their whole relationship off of a lie about their children.”

“I’m not Erik’s child.” Alex scowls, tilting Hank’s arm a little. “If he had provided half of my genetic material I’d probably kill myself.”

“Dramatic.” Hank tells him. “I find it hard to believe this _isn’t_ the half he provided.”

“Fuck you.” Alex says, but he’s smiling so Hank is going to ignore the expletive.

..

“Why _are_ you pretending to flunk, again?” Hank tries asking at his track practice, where Alex is running with him. “Jesus, you look like you’re about to collapse, let’s stop.” He leads Alex over to a bench. Sweat is pouring over the shorter boy’s face and it should be gross and stinky but it’s not. Especially when Alex dumps a whole bottle of water over his head and _oh_ , now everything is _clinging_.

“Fuck my life, fuck you, fuck this shit.” Alex gasps out. “How the fuck do you run _this_ much.”

“Maybe you’re out of shape.” Hank offers, grinning. Alex socks him in the shoulder, hard. “Ow. I’m the state champion in cross-country. You’re not.”

“Really?” he grumps. “You couldn’t have told me _before_ we decided to run together?”

“Now, where’s the fun in that?” Hank asks, and they sit in silence for a while.

“I got into the Xavier Institute.” Alex admits after a while, and Hank jerks upward from his slouch.

“Alex, that’s amazing!” he says, an enthusiastic grin on his face. Alex glances at him and breaks out into a reluctant smile.

“Yeah, I guess it is. I would go as a geophysics major. But, um, Erik doesn’t know.” Alex looks down again, shuffling his feet. “Honestly, in the beginning I just forgot to tell him, and then when I didn’t talk about college for a while he just assumed I was failing and started to throw that into conversations.”

“You were bitter.” Hank realizes. “That he just assumed.” The look on Alex’s face is heartbreaking, a combination of abject misery and broken hope.

“Hank, why did he assume that? Even though I have a record and all that shit he _knows_ I’ve always done well in class. I read science journals for _fun_ , man, I just –“

“Yeah.” Hank says, sliding an arm around Alex’s shoulder. Alex leans, ever so slightly into him, angry and miserable. “Yeah.”

..

He takes Alex home with him that day and introduced him to Charles.

“Here is Alex. He is not flunking anything and I am not tutoring him in anything.” Hank announces, and Alex cringes, shoving Hank a little.

“What the fuck, dude.” He says in a low voice, but he looks a little relieved, like he wasn’t sure if Hank was going to bring it up again.

“No it’s okay.” Hank says, looking at Charles smiling half-sadly, half-fondly, and deciding to tackle the issue that’s been bugging him since Alex mentioned Xavier Institute. “Charles already knows. He’s the head of Xavier Institute. There’s no way he _didn’t_ know.”

“I thought you were just a teacher there!” Alex exclaims, staring at Charles. Raven snorts from where she’s clearly eavesdropping on the conversation.

“He shares a last name with the Institute and you thought he was just a teacher there?” she asks, flicking through a Kurt Vonnegut book and not even looking. “You’re not _that_ smart, are you, Summers?”

Alex is still gaping and Hank sighs to himself.

“He’s really smart.” Hank tells her. “Geophysics.”

“Oh.” Raven replies, a flicker of interest passing over her face. “So he might work with you?”

“It’s possible.” Hank allows as Alex turns his head so fast Hank imagines he can hear bones crack.

“ _Work_ with you?” Alex stammers. Hank is a _little_ offended by the note of incredulity in his voice.

“It’s not that bad. People in my lab like me. They got me a #1 Boss mug for my birthday, so _there_.” Hank says triumphantly.

“You have your own _lab_?” Alex asks, incredulous again. “People _work_ for you?”

“No.” Hank says quietly. “Charles lets me do my research in a lab at the Institute. People are supposed to work for me and help me but while they like me, they see me more as an amusing pet and usually go off and work somewhere else. I work alone. I prefer it that way.” He adds, seeing the looks on Charles’ face. It’s an age-old argument, because Hank gets it, okay? Taking orders from an eighteen year old is not how Institute students want to live their lives. It’s fine. He works better alone.

He chances a look at Alex, and Alex smiles at him bitterly, like he gets it. And he probably does. It’s the feeling of being alone even while you’re surrounded by people, and nobody – not Charles, not Raven, not even Alex – has made that go away for Hank yet.

..

The four of them spend quite a lot of time that evening talking about Xavier Institute and what they’re going to do. Alex learns a lot – about how specialized the program is, how all thirty of the freshman are handpicked by Charles, how it’s mostly only a lab and facilities for the _very_ small FBI extension that is run by Charles’ friend Moira McTaggert. Hank learns that when Alex focuses on the future, he gets a a tiny frown on his face that looks thoughtful rather than angry, and his eyes sharpen anytime someone asks him a question. He drums his fingers against all available surfaces, a staccato of beats that match in time with Hank’s quickening heartbeat as Alex bites his lip and shoots small smiles at Hank.

Raven notices and smirks at him. Hank flips her off. Charles looks very shocked that Hank knows how to flip people off.

“Can he stay for dinner?” Raven asks. “I like him. It gets easier to annoy Hank when he’s around.” Hank blushes crimson.

“Yes. In fact,” Charles glances at the clock, “I invited Erik for dinner too. He should be here in another half hour. Is that alright?” He asks Alex.

“You already asked him here.” Alex snorts, throwing his hands up in the air. “No point in leaving now.”

“I can do the whole blurting it out thing?” Hank offers. “Hello Erik it’s me Hank I’m not tutoring your adopted child he’s nearly as smart as me and also a lying liar because he’s going to attend your boyfriend’s university.” He grins cheekily as Alex tackles him.

“No finesse! No tact!” Alex yells, tickling him on the floor. “Hi, I’m Henry McCoy and I’d like to _die_ from sheer _clumsiness_ and _dorkiness_.”

“Do you think I can call him my boyfriend?” Charles asks from above them, delighted, completely ignoring the two tussling teenagers. “Is it too soon?”

Raven peers at her brother. “Ask him after he figures out you’ve been lying about his son. That should be a real incentive to date you.”

..

“Erik!” Charles says happily, greeting the frightening man with a kiss. Hank thinks that Charles is possibly the only person in the world who can be downright _enthusiastic_ about Erik Lensherr’s presence. Erik stares at the three teenagers.

“Why is Alex here?” he asks suspiciously.

“I’m not actually failing anything!” Alex yells suddenly, apparently unable to display any more tact than Hank. “I got into the Institute and Hank isn’t tutoring me in anything!”

“Super.” Raven says into the ensuing silence.

“Leave Hank out of this!” Hank whispers to Alex.

..

Erik has on this face that screams both restrained fury, homicidal urges, and deep despair.

“You couldn’t just _tell_ me.” he repeats, for what seems like the thousandth time. Hank would be scared, except Erik is also holding Charles hand and it looks like they’re tracing patterns into each other’s palms, which is just all sorts of _no_ so he’s not as intimidated as he feels he should be.

“You _assumed_ I was failing. You left no room for doubt. Frankly, I had no motivation for telling you.” Alex bites out. His face is hard and his eyes are angrier than Hank has ever seen. Alex is sitting next to him on the couch, and Hank can feel the rigid, tension-filled lines of his body.

“Alex, I’m sorry, it was wrong to assume. But you should have _corrected_ me instead of letting me worry about you for so long!” Erik says loudly, exasperated, and Alex jumps up.

“It doesn’t _matter_!” Alex yells, body shaking. “You’ve always been waiting for me to fuck up! This was the perfect opportunity, and you took it, and now you don’t have to pretend that I’m ever going to be normal, so it’s okay, Erik! Give up the act!” And Hank’s heart aches, because it’s so obvious now. Erik doesn’t think that, would _never_ think that, loves Alex in the same broken, fierce, enthusiastic way Charles loves Raven and Hank, but Alex thinks that. Alex has always thought that of himself.

“ _How dare you!_ ” Erik roars, also standing up, but Alex just shoves at Erik, hard, and pushes past him to the door, leaving. There’s a stunned silence, and Erik makes a move to follow him but lets out a broken noise and sinks into the sofa, his head in his hands, muttering “How could I mess up this badly?” in a wretched tone.

“I’ll get him.” Hank says, grabbing Alex’s leather jacket and nodding at Erik. “I’ll always get him, sir.” And he hopes that conveys how sorry he is that he lied to Erik and that he didn’t catch the problem before it spiraled out of control.

..

Alex is at the nearby park, punching a tree when Hank finds him.

“Alex.” He says softly, then louder. “Alex!” The other boy looks up and his face is murderous.

“ _What_ ” he hisses “the fuck do _you_ want?”

“Come on.” Hank says, holding out the jacket and refusing to break eye contact. “Come on.” Alex looks suspiciously at him before grabbing the jacket. Hank moves closer and sees his bloody knuckles and winces.

“May I?” he asks, gesturing to the torn shreds of skin. Alex holds up his hand to Hank, his chin jutting forward as he dares Hank to say something wrong. Hank examines it – just superficial scrapes, thought there are a _lot_ of them - and tears off a strip of his shirt, wrapping it around Alex’s knuckles and securely tying the knot across the worst of the wounds.

“You were wrong.” He says seriously, not letting go of Alex’s knuckles. “Erik loves you more than anything.” Alex pulls his hand out of Hank’s grasp, vibrating with anger, but Hank doesn’t let him go all the way, catching him and holding him even when Alex starts muttering more expletives.    

“Alex-“ Hank begins but Alex cuts in.

“Do you know why I went to juvie?” Alex asks. Hank looks up at the sky. Wonders if he should answer that. Wonders if he can kiss Alex yet and feel something alive beat in his chest.

“Because I can’t control my anger. Because when I get deep enough in my own fucking head, there’s a space so infinitely lonely that I don’t care who I hurt.” Alex barrels on. “And nothing makes that go away. I knifed a guy, Hank, I fucked it up so badly. Every day people around me are watching, waiting for me to screw it up and do something shitty and stupid –“

“God.” Hank says with feeling. “Shut the fuck up.” And the curse rolling easily off of Hank’s mouth makes Alex pause and glare, saying “What” in a flat tone.

“You’re in your head,” he says, tracing circles in Alex’s palm, “and I’m in mine and Charles is in his and so is Erik, and Raven, and every one of us. It’s okay,” he takes a ragged breath and determinedly looks at a tree a few feet away instead of Alex, “to be that far gone. I will – I will pull you back, okay? Nothing can make it go away, you’re right, I _know_ , but people can be there to take you away from it. Please.” He says softly, looking back at Alex. “Please stop this stupid game of loathing yourself.”

“I – It’s not that easy.” Alex says, softer now. Hank grins a little.

“I know.” He responds. “But it’s somewhere to start.” And he leans in and presses his lips against Alex because he’s _tired_ of waiting for the lonely space in his head to clear. It may never clear. But Alex is bright and beautiful and rough in all the edges where Hank fits, and it’s somewhere to start.

..

Alex doesn’t get any happier, and neither does Hank, and Charles still tried to drink his problems away and Erik has the communication skills of a wasp. Raven is trying to hard to be someone she’s not. Angel and Darwin and Sean and all of their friends are still getting their shit together.

But for perhaps the first time, Hank sees that having someone besides you makes life a lot funnier, and warmer, and enjoyable in the most bittersweet of ways. It’s the ache when Alex blows up because Hank ignored him while he was in the lab, and goes to a bar and gets in a fight. It’s the wildly beating heart that Hank tries to quell in his chest as he flies down to the bar where Darwin is holding a bleeding blonde boy upright; the twist in his heart when he gathers Alex in his arms and his boyfriend lets out a broken noise and desperately twists his hands into the fabric of Hank’s shirt. The cold anger he feels when Alex insults his intelligence, his gangly stature, his lack of social skills and friends, and when he retorts with remarks about juvie and anger issues and lack of control. The way all of that is worth every second with Alex, who smiles with his whole face and lets Hank mark his neck with bright hickies and hold his hand at school; who seeks Hank out in the hallways and walks him to class, a possessive arm slung around his waist; who holds Hank until he falls asleep and kisses the tips of his fingertips and shares his dreams and hopes until the two of them are intertwined so tightly they begin and end together.

A relationship with Alex is like a summer thunderstorm – hot and cool and strange and beautiful and above all, what Hank needs.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: now you can find me on [ tumblr!!! ](http://eversall.tumblr.com/) i know, you're SO excited *sarcasm*


End file.
